Monthly Archive for March, 2011

A post about time, dogs, and chocolate cake

So I’m eating a lovely piece of double-chocolate cake left over from my birthday. Why am I eating delicious cake at almost 10pm? It isn’t because I just finished an awesome gourmet dinner (although I did make a yummy dinner earlier, but that’s four hours ago now). It’s because we just got back from Kelly’s obedience class and took her on a half-hour walk, meaning we didn’t even get in our front door until 9:40pm.

Well, that’s a lie, I got in at around 5pm and made dinner and got cleaned up to take the dog to obedience class. My wife got back around 5:30pm and took the dog out for a half-hour walk and ate dinner.

Why am I saying this? I honestly don’t know, perhaps so a random morphine addict can stab me with a needle and sedate me so I actually get some rest.

I haven’t written in a few days, which bugs me. I need to haul my ass to Writer Obedience classes so I learn not to procrastinate. Although I feel more like marching Mr Procrastination out back down by the creek and blowing its head off with a shotgun. Not so much because I dislike procrastinating, I quite enjoy it which is the whole problem for me doing it so much. It’s because if I didn’t procrastinate and actually finished one of the half-dozen half-finished stories I have, I stand the off-chance of actually selling something and resolving this problem.

Although if I ever do become a writer for a living, I feel like I’m going to look back on this and feel like marching younger Nik down to the creek and blowing his brains out.

23

As of present I am about 8400 days old, which also means I’ve been alive for the approximate figure of 12-million minutes. These figures really mean nothing besides it is my 23rd birthday, which actually means this is my 24th year of life.

Although if you count the time I gestated, I still have about 3 months to hit the point my life actually began. Which, had I not gone to an all boys highschool, this thought would have likely broken my mind. However the “You know your parents had sex” game was a frequent hit. The best I remember was someone pointing out, just before Christmas break, that Christmas was likely the day he was conceived (going on the special occasions theory of procreation).  It really kills someone’s Christmas spirit when you make it remind them of their parents fornicating… and that’s why children are evil!

See that in the side bar…

There’s a little portion of the sidebar on this website dedicated to my writing projects. Currently it’s only displaying one, although there’s a few that are presently in a state of “Dude, where the fuck did he go?” as they got uber-dumped at the beginning of NaNoWriMo.

So what’s my point? You might ask, well because it just jumped 15,000 words up to 33363. Why the sudden jump? Well because you like me, I forgot it’s there. Although I had a big write-a-thon on Wednesday when I got snowed out from work (I also moved a fridge, or should I say moved back a fridge, but that’s off topic) and ploughed out around 3,000 words.

Why is this important? Well maybe it isn’t to you, but to me it means I’m fast approaching the half-way mark. A boss battle may be in the midsts with Captain Procrastination.

Also in other news, I will be turning 23 as of tomorrow, which means tomorrow is the anniversary of that date upon which I was born.

Spring Blizzard in Ontario

The blizzard that is currently happening outside my window was a little unexpected. Not in that we didn’t know it was coming, in that The Weather Network in its outstanding suckitude reported it wrong and quite notably has been reporting it wrong all day despite being in said storm. The radar has been placing the storm solidly over us the entire time. Yet accurate reporting isn’t how they make their money, it’s by being inaccurate and forcing people to suffer through their advertisements. That’s right, I’m alleging they’re the Fox News of weather reporting.

With the way things are going, we could be in this storm for a while. It looks like something out of The Mist, that’s how eerily heavy the white-out has been. They were reporting nil-visibility in areas early this morning, which is always nice. I’m half-expecting to see monsters attack me from the white-out, but that would require one of two things. #1 for me to finally have gone truly insane, although technically that would actually be a hallucination and not the actual existence of monsters. Or #2 for Ontario to actually sustain a year round temperature high enough to support extra-dimensional monsters.  I think the former is going to happen sooner than the latter, but that gets us nowhere because monsters invading the GTA would be uber-awesome.

All hail our, hopefully soon coming, alien monster overlords!

Supermoon! Cannot be seen.

I love astronomical events that get picked up on and reported by the media more than an air-supremacy take over in Libya, and then it’s cloudy all evening because there’s about 15mm of rain on the way.

In other world changing news: my apartment is finally cold. Wait, that’s not it. Let me try again: We’re moving out of the crappy apartment and into a town house where there’s such amenities as; doorways on the ground level, back yards, washers and driers, basements. Also we get like 1,000 sqft extra.

Fire alarms, sleep deprivation and writing

I wasn’t very tired, but well aware that the hours were ticking down and that I would be tired today. The 6 hour mark passed at midnight, so around 12:30 I decided to go to bed and read. We got to a little past the 1am mark, I settled down ready to sleep and then woop!-weep!-woop! the fire alarm starts going off.

I settled into the “I’m comfy, it’s a false alarm again” mentality. However, my wife being the worrier and anti-burning-to-death proponent I put some clothes on and we climbed down the 22 half-flights of stairs to the ground floor. The firemen were just arriving, looking equally as dissatisfied with the situation as I was: AKA they already knew it was a false alarm.

We spent around 20 minutes outside with the dog before the firemen left and the elevators started working. We got into bed around 2am, talked to gone 2:30 and probably fell asleep around 3am. The alarm went off an unsatisfactory 3 hours later and I followed the preprogrammed routine like I was a robot.

Now we skip to now. I’m not going to take needing a nap as an excuse to not get some writing done. So I’m digging in my heels, pulling the tab on a Rockstar and I’m going to sit down and get storytelling.

Vindication

I have been vindicated. My wife was just filling Kelly’s Kong and the ziplock bag exploded on her.

Wife: Ugh, I hate the smell of peanut butter… now it’s on my hand! *High pitched voice* now it’s on my hand!

Edit: I just realised this post is #100.

Is this really news?

Charlie Sheen got fired. Is it really news? Apparently, it’s currently hitting up on google trends, so I guess it is news worthy.

Other things that happened on March 7th that were actually note worthy: Marcus Aurelius gained the throne, becoming official (co-)emperor of Rome on the 8th. Napoleon Bonaparte won a battle and captured a city on this day, although they were separated by 15 years and an Emperorship. Also in 1994 the US Supreme Court ruled that parody was a protected free speech.

Imitation is the sincerest form of… Son of a…!

So with my wife napping and a free minute I decided to fill Kelly’s recently bought Kong with peanut butter so that it’ll be frozen by morning. Of course I got to imitate how my wife does it. Fill a ziplock bag with peanut butter and pipe it in like an idiot-proof (AKA Nik-proof) icing job. I mean it doesn’t even have to look nice, just pipe it in until you can’t get anymore in. What could go wrong? Well the ziplock can just ker-plow and bust a side open, coating your hand in peanut butter. Then you have to use a teaspoon to fill the Kong and make a huge mess anyway, plus your hand is coating in peanut butter.

As per usual, the wife knows best.

Oh Yes, I saw Movies

Over the past week or so I’ve watched quite a few movies I haven’t seen before. Top of the list being I Am Number Four and The Social Network. So we’ll keep this concise.

I Am Number Four: 8/10; It was a fresh take on the recent swathe of OMFG*drools* that has been going on over the past couple years with the popular emergence of Twilight. Now there’s the Vampire Diaries (which I must admit has a great Smallville vibe to it that makes it enjoyable) and other semi-necrophilia promoting shows (yes getting hot and heavy with the undead is still necrophilia as at one point they died and didn’t come back human). The ending was rather cheap “oh look we’re open for a sequel… like wide open”, but I haven’t read the book so I’m unsure if they’re simply being faithful to the source material or acting on the confirmation of a sequel book. The actors were all well above-competent in their roles, which is very unusual for an initial YA adaptation.

The Social Network: 7.5/10; I don’t like .5′s, but this movie didn’t really deserve an 8. The writing was splendid, but I feel much of the character development was derived solely out of public accounts of Zuckerberg. Outside of the courts and published blogs the character seemed to drift before being snapped back to reality. I enjoyed it, it was a good watch through and it had some funny moments. However, I still got a slight derogatory geek-stereotype feel in many scenes, especially the very end scene with him pining over his ex.

X-men Origins: Wolverine: 7.5/10; I really hate giving .5′s, but this movie really did deserve an 8 but certain scenes really hung. The beginning and end were truly great, it was the middle that hung like a dead man at times. The end was action-tacular, although – as with most Origin stories – it didn’t feel like it resolved much of the character problems it created.

My personal hope for another X-Men Origins would be that they dump the main characters and focus on someone you’ve never seen before like Emma Frost. Hers is a story worthy of 3-hours. Worlds most powerful psychic turns stripper, takes over the anti-mutant Hellfire Club (which is to be featured in this years X-Men First Class), teams up with Magneto and becomes the sole leader of the Hellfire Club, before reforming and eventually leading the X-Men against her ally Magneto.

I mean screw Wolverines “I like a girl” crap, Frost is one of the ruthless females in the comic universe you can’t avoid liking.

Magnolia: Undetermined; We watched about 25-minutes, couldn’t understand a damn thing that was happening and turned off when a dying guy talked for 5-minutes. I usually have the attention span to wait through vapid scenes, but aside from like a 3-minute scene of a cop finding a dead body in a closet I got zero plot or story. I’m guessing it was about coincidence given the intro, but coincidentally it was boring as crap.

I’m generally very lenient with my reviews, generally because I only watch what I think I’ll like. Given the strong ratings I actually expected something worthwhile. I mean I loved Benjamin Button and that took like an hour to get started. I liked The Postman for god’s sake! Perhaps if Magnolia hadn’t been the first movie for me to almost fall asleep in from boredom I might have got to the point of why the reviews are an 8/10, but for me it was a 3/10 solely because John C. Reilly.

That’s all for now. More reviews when I watch more movies.




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