Monthly Archive for May, 2010

Review: A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

This movie was just sad, and quite possibly the worst movie Michael Bay has ever had his name attached to. Yes, okay Pearl Harbour sucked. This one just sucked out loud. Amidst corny jokes and a myriad of references to the original so blatant that it actually slowed the progression of the movie, it really wasn’t worth anyone’s time. Sure it got some screams from the ladies in the audience, but that isn’t really an accomplished feat.

What I liked:

In all honesty, the thing I liked best about this movie was that it had the new Old Spice commercial showing in advance of it appearing in TV. It literally had everyone in the theatre laughing their asses off, and considering everyone was in there to see a horror movie it was literally a seating arrangement of guy next to girl in every seat. I could have walked out at that point and it would have been the $11 well spent.

Freddy Krueger is virtually the only bad guy in mainstream horror films that either A) isn’t a vampire/werewolf/tentacle monster, or B) wasn’t once-upon-a-time a good guy. He’s the only bad guy you enjoy seeing die.

What I disliked:

Aside from a few elements that were okay, a bit more brevity in the story than the original, I disliked it all. The only way I could have had more corn and cheese in this movie would have been if I’d picked up a bag of white cheddar popcorn. The unadulterated campness was an injustice to all things good and camp. Really, I wholly disagree with the rating agencies for film, but I would fully back an organization to limit the quantity of campness that can be placed in a movie – because, “won’t somebody please think of the children!”

Overall: 5/10

I likely wouldn’t have done anything more productive with my time, but I can list a lot of things that would have been more worth my time. However, I did enjoy laughing my ass off at various parts of the movie that were clearly intended to be scary, and by the sounds of it the majority of the men in the audience we’re right there with me.

Judgement: Free on TV, anything more is an insult to the cash in your wallet.

Long Weekend Sunday

No work tomorrow morning, so another post will be following, maybe a review. Elm Street or Backup Plan, we’ll see.

Review: Kick Ass

Not only seeing this movie, but finding the time to write this review has been a difficult task. It took almost two weeks for us to actually get to go see Kick Ass, but once we had our pet hedgehog managed to escape. No one, nowhere had pre-informed us that hedgehogs are escape artists, had we known we would have probably kept with the original idea for his name of Harry, instead we have Henry, apparently Houdini reincarnate.

We also had a fun visit from my wife’s cousin, and spent this weekend attending another one of her cousins weddings, all amongst a regular schedule that doesn’t usually include time for review writing. We also saw the Nightmare on Elm Street during this time, which will be receiving a dutifully short review (for better or worse), and I will be keeping this review as succinct as possible. Anyway, onto the movie.

What I liked:

Well pretty much everything. Matthew Vaughn is one of my favorite directors and despite a very short directing list, I’m anticipating his future works (another by the writer of the Kick Ass and Wanted comics). He has a great ability to make scripts Hollywood-acceptable, without making the content Hollywood. An eleven-year-old girl kills, maims and dismembers people and people showed greater concern over her characters potty mouth.

I’m sorry, I’d have more problem with my children being mass murderers before hitting pubity than hearing them use ‘cunt’ in an insult. Perhaps my moral values are off from society, but I generally rate vulgarity below violence on the ranking of character vices to avoid. I would have thought the religious right would be with me on this, Blasphemy is not as big a sin as Murder, and vulgarity isn’t explicitly a sin in and of itself. It’s also worth noting the 3rd commandment isn’t a proclivity against swearing as in vulgarity, but against oath swearing under the name of the lord.

The action scenes were awesome, especially Hit Girl’s main scene. The choreography was great, and the first-person view through her night-vision goggles is possibly the only fan-play to FPS gamers that was executed in a good way, usually any first-person perspective in a film is horrific even when it’s not done artistically as fan-play.

What I disliked:

Was honestly virtually nothing. I would have preferred Mark Millar’s ending to the story, however that ending isn’t well suited to film. I can understand why Vaughn would use a more commercial ending, after all he does need to earn a living and he’s selling to an American market, not the British market where unfortunate endings are more accepted.

My other problem with it was that the flow of the film died a little bit with the sequel setup, which I know was in the original material, but could have really been cut out for the film. Although, story wise, I can understand the inclusion because it’s an illustrating point that’s often discussed in comic works that the existence of Super Heroes/Villains will cause need for the rise of the other.

Overall: 9/10

This is one of the greatest movies I’ll see all year, and I don’t even need to know what else is coming out to claim this. However, it certainly isn’t going to be the greatest movie I’ll see this decade, although I don’t preclude Vaughn taking that title.

Judgement: Buy it, rent it, watch it in theaters, whichever you choose, it’ll be worth it.




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