Monthly Archive for January, 2010

Now it’s over with… the iPad

Finally the device that has been rumoured for endless months has been finally announced, and with it a price tag as optimistic as sucking on the muzzle of a shotgun. Let’s face it, a $500 price tag isn’t an optimistic statement by Apple. Certainly the iPad’s $500 tag is better than the purportedly ‘leaked’ number of $1000+, but it’s still not a confidence statement.

The device is going to encounter two key problems. The first, and most critical, is how is this device really portable? Show me a pocket this will slip into comfortably, and sticking it down the waistband of your pants doesn’t count as a pocket, even if you’re currently keeping a sausage down there! From the images it’s the size of a ‘full-size’ keyboard (without keypad), so it’ll slip into a woman’s handbag quite admirably. So, as a man, I’ve got the option of carrying a handbag or bringing my wife everywhere with me, are those the two options men nation wide really want to be deciding between? I know for a fact, if my wife is with me the functionality of the iPad is reduced . . . namely because it’ll get stolen from me, which leaves me getting a handbag or some other metrosexual apparel. This issue may be resolvable with some innovative case design, but inevitably it’s likely to end up in a backpack facing off with objects it likely never intended to meet and getting hurled around like old runners.

The second problem, for me personally, is that it is a locked-down device. It’s running a locked varient of Mac OS X, which means we as users will be entirely dependent on the App store for applications on a device that held so much potential. Oh and, unless someone made a monumental screw up before the presentation, no Flash. So those 90% of users who are using applications on facebook aren’t likely to see any use in the ~$850 price tag of a high-end iPad with 3G. The custom built A4 ARM processor means no hope of hacking a real Mac OS X onto it, nor windows or probably chromium OS. There’s slim hope for one of the ARM enabled linux variants as it’s likely going to take a lot of time to jailbrake the custom processor and Apple has kindly placed itself in a position where it can always be one step ahead.

The $30 monthly wireless plan with no contract is possibly the most appealing feature of the entire iPad, which in my opinion is rather depressing. Its claims of battery life seem a little dubious, ‘up-to’ 10 hours wireless web/video/music seems a bit strange. Perhaps processing the video isn’t nearly as battery draining as the screen, but I seriously doubt a battery life of 10 hours watching full screen movies. I’m expecting maybe 6 at a push.

Honestly, with portability not significantly higher than a netbook, but with way more restrictions than any netbook on the market makes a $500 – $850 price tag way too high. I’m sorry, but $130 for built in 3G is a joke. $200 netbook with $150 out-of-plan USB wifi still sounds like a much better deal to me, especially considering a 160GB hard drive and gaming ability. An Intel 950GM gets you through plenty of the classics of gaming, the iPad won’t. I also can’t control the 3G installed by Apple, which means I’m likely to be suckered into a deal with Bell. With a netbook, I can choose from Bell, Telus, Rogers, Virgin, Koodoo, Fido and the newcomer Wind.

Sorry, iPad. Your inevitable entrance into Canada won’t have me pulling out my wallet to buy you.

Game Review: Borderlands

I have hard feelings on this game, because I personally liked it very much, however despite being a great game and fun to play, it pissed me off beyond acceptability.

Here’s what I liked:

The game was fun to play. The graphics had a cartoonized edge that helped with the humour in the game. The non-serious environment really made it a delight to play the game, despite its flaws.

However, this is a game exclusively about its weapons. Most FPS games have, possibly, a dozen weapons, maybe you’ll get a thirty or so and a handful of mods thrown in if you’re lucky. The last I heard, Borderlands has over 17 million unique weapons, and likely counting with DLC. My favourite pistol in the game, for instance, managed a quad-shot. It may sound somewhat pointless to some that the game features so many weapons, or why people would care. However, it’s sort of like Pokemon, where the last iteration I played (Diamond) had almost five-hundred.

Now what I disliked:

I’m a man who when he says no, he means no. Borderlands however has no ability to understand the ‘no’ button included in its mission selection menus. When you get prompted with a new story mission, you have the option of choosing to take it or refusing, however if you refuse it you’re given the mission anyway. Not only is this frustrating, but it also introduces all the mission orientated bad guys to the level, most of which are way overpowered.

The games inability to recognize no only enhances another problem, which is that every boss is wholly overpowered. By the time side missions are introduced you’re fighting tooth and nail to win a fight. One mission I had to climb a rock where the enemy couldn’t reach me, jump up and down so their snipers couldn’t target me and pick them off. I was a sniper-orientated character, with the best sniper available and a damage bonus and I had to hit my opponents with several head shots to kill.

This wouldn’t have been such a problem if you could say no to the story and take some of the side missions. However you can’t, you have the choice of superpowered story bad guys running amok, or story bad guys and side-mission bad guys.

It seriously hurts the games experience when you can’t beat a single mission without retrying it a half-dozen times to whittle down the enemies, because thankfully most of your opponents don’t respawn. Most.

Overall: 7/10

This game had major potential, and as an avid gamer I can play it. However, most people won’t be able to play this game past the 10th mission without hitting the frustration wall. I’m a Strategy and RPG fan, the frustration wall is usually so far behind me when playing a game that I’ve ceased noticing it. However, I can’t in all good faith recommend a game that’s bat-shit crazy and takes no’s as yes’ so it can pit you against demonic bosses with ridiculous health, shields and a superior weapon. It also seriously doesn’t help that the grenades aren’t particularly useful compared to other games.

The good can outweigh the bad, however when you have so many noticeable flaws it might be worth reconsidering some parts. I’m unsure if Borderlands had some publisher pressure to release or what, but someone dropped the ball and released a game with great potential marred by so many flaws.

Judgement: Rent it, if you must.

Review: The Princess and the Frog

I was pleasantly surprised by Disney’s return to traditional animation. It was funny, witty and well written; something we haven’t seen much of from Disney lately. The movie is genuinely deserving of being in the Disney Classics.

Here’s why I liked it:

Most importantly, the voice acting was very well done. The voices suited the characters, they weren’t just planted in the role because of who they were; I didn’t realise I knew Prince Naveen (Bruno Campos) from as many things as I did. There were, obviously, some name-drop extras, however John Goodman and Oprah Winfrey fitted their roles well.

The story was strong, with a few good twists. Not necessarily unexpected twists, but they’ll certainly be a delight for the young children this movie is targeted towards. It is enjoyable for adults, which the Disney Classics usually are. The emotions in the movie feel genuine, which is a must for any romance.

The musical numbers were excellent, and I’m talking Aladdin & The Lion King good. The plot existed and wasn’t as holy as Swiss cheese, it made sense throughout the entire movie for the characters to be doing exactly what they were.

And here’s what I disliked:

The key problem in this movie was pacing. The beginning was fun, however progress through the bayou felt a little stuck in the mud. It had its humour, but the start of the middle section had a serious pacing issue. This resolved itself and recovered for a good ending, however here’s a message to Disney: You’re selling this to small children, I didn’t want to sit still during the slow period, why would an 8 year old?

Other than pacing, there weren’t any glaring problems. The action and adventure felt genuine and not forced. The romance between Prince Naveen and Tiana had feeling. Most notably, this felt like an actual movie, it didn’t feel like it was created to play for a black demographic because it’s an ‘untapped market’ by Disney. It’s a romance set in New Orleans, end of. The fact Tiana is African-American is as irrelevant to the story as it should be, it’s a story about love.

Overall: 8/10

This is a great family-film, and not one that the parents have to sit on either end of their children so they don’t escape while the adults sleep. It’s 97 minutes, and about 85 of them will keep you genuinely interested. Most importantly, it is well worth spending the money on if you’ve got children under 14, and worth it regardless of age if you’re a Disney fan.
The Princess and the Frog is a movie that should be seen in theatres with the kids, and should be bought on DVD/Blu-ray by any fan of Disney’s Classics. It’s worthy of dropping the cash on.
Judgement: Buy it

Review: Daybreakers

I went into this movie with some hesitation. Vampire movies have been hitting heights recently, and the literature market is being flooded with vampiric effluence, so it’s really only a short time before a flood of poorly made vampire movies flood the market. Having seen the trailers, I saw that clichés were abounding.

I was pleasantly surprised that I actually enjoyed this movie, here’s why:

Horror movies are inevitably funny, usually due to their low budgets and the fact they usually take themselves overly serious certainly doesn’t help. Daybreakers feels like it was doomed to this track, however the Spierig brothers appear to have realized somewhere along the way that their script for a serious vampire-sci-fi movie (yes, a very bad combination to begin with) was hilarious. All credit must go to Willem Dafoe who made this movie entertaining. He arrives roughly halfway through, and the seriousness slowly converts to humour, just in time for most of the actual action.

Surprisingly the duality in the picture works well. The seriousness in the beginning aids in making the scenes jumpy and tense, while the relaxed-humour towards the end makes the inevitable gore festival of an 18A a laugh-fest.

Here are the reasons why I didn’t like the movie:

Clichés abounded throughout, and to name a few: No reflections in mirrors, seriously? Sadly yes. Vampires set on fire in sunlight, but I’ll forgive this one as it is actually used for an interesting and unique plot point. Vampires explode when they die, but apparently not when they burn to death.

The ending isn’t a cliff hanger, it isn’t even an ending. Nothing is resolved, there’s no feel of accomplishment for watching through an epic-adventure. I suppose this is to leave it open for a sequel, however it could have been done much better. It was a very ungratifying end.

Overall: 7/10

For fans of Willem Dafoe or comedy-horrors, this movie is worth watching. For the rest of the general public, it certainly isn’t worth the ticket price in the theatres. If you like seeing things on the big screen, perhaps look to see if your local theatre has a slow-day deal, like popcorn and drink included in the ticket price as at least you’re getting a little more for your money.

This is definitely a movie to rent, it’s an enjoyable watch and doesn’t feel like you wasted an unrecoverable 98 minutes. The ending is a bit weak, but the rest of the movie is definitely strong, and doesn’t suffer from a killer slow-period in the middle, in fact the movie as a whole is very well paced.

Judgement: Rent it

Introducing Baxter

Baxter

Baxter is the house rabbit. He was bought for my wife’s birthday, but we extrapolated back and believe he may have genuinely been an Easter bunny, so as we’re not entirely certain of his age (he’s a Dwarf Rex, so it was harder to tell his age when we got him from the pet store) his birthday gets celebrated on Easter Sunday.

In this picture he’s relaxing in his cage, he just got finished being pet. Noticeably his blankets are in one piece. His grooming instinct has since meant he chews holes in the blankets, it started by him removing the little emblems stitched on, but has since progressed to random spots he dislikes on the blanket.

Hello world!

A new year and a new blog. Content can come later.




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